A look of satisfaction

A friend shared a picture with me of a group of people he spent a week with hiking in the high altitude of the Rocky Mountains.

The picture was taken at the conclusion of the trip. The group was huddled around the sign designating the trail's beginning (and end).

They had hiked 53 miles from camp to camp. No too much food. No showers or facilities. Pretty rough conditions.

The one thing that came through on each of their faces in the picture was pretty plain to see.

Accomplishment along with satisfaction.

I asked my friend about that. If it was the feeling of accomplishment that was more important than the actual enjoyment of the trip.

He said on that particular journey, the scenery was so beautiful that the hiking was its own reward. Other times he said, it was more about the accomplishment.

After three years on your ministry team, do you suppose the members of the team share a sense of accomplishment? Is satisfaction written on their faces? Through the bruised egos of impassioned discussions around the table or the sacrifices that they made to be a part of the team, would they say: "It was worth it!"?

Or do we maybe make it too easy? For any ideas generated, do we implement them along with a few others without allowing the team to take ownership?

Do you ask them to give anything up to accomplish the task so they we feel it was worth it?

Maybe be don't feel like our mission is worth the trouble sometimes.

And most importantly, we often forget the beauty of the scenery and the enjoyment of the service, which ultimately is its own reward.

Maybe the next time we feel like it isn't worth it, we should take a hike.

a sixth sense

Remember that tv show from the 70's called the Sixth Sense?

Gary Collins as Dr. Michael Rhodes?

The parapsychologist?

Well, if not, it was a really cool, short lived show.

I used to watch it and think how cool it was. I wished I could have a sixth sense.

We do, you know. Have a sixth sense. Or maybe it's just a combination of the other five in a weird way.

I was out jogging today and a little dog came yapping from one of the houses in the subdivision.

I have been working on a technique to deal with this because dogs have a sixth sense and if you let them think they have startled you, and you are afraid, they will sometimes get all worked up and bite you. Even if they normally don't do that.

So the second they come yapping, I turn on them and buck up on them. It's been working pretty good.

So I tried it on this dog and it stopped for a second, but when I turned to run, it followed me.

It wasn't a big deal, but I didn't want the dog to wander away from home trying to chase me. So I turned again and then I saw the dog's owner coming to chase after us.

I read her mind. She was sorry that the dog was yapping after me. I used telepathy to let her know: "It's cool. I'm going to stop so your dog will stop. Then you can get your dog. It's fine though. I'm not like mad or anything. I'm not going to keep running so you'll have to chase after your dog to teach you a lesson about not letting your dog yap after me. I'm also not going to scream at you for letting your dog chase me."

I used my telepathic powers to understand that she was really sorry that the dog chased after me and potentially scared me: I didn't know for sure if the thing would try to bite me. "I'm am so sorry," she said in her mind. "Perhaps you too, have a dog that has done this. I can tell by your telepathic transmissions that: yes, yes you have, haven't you? Have a good run. See you next time, but hopefully not under these circumstances."

So it wasn't Dr. Michael Rhodes. But close.

I made some assumptions. I took the time to read faces and to attempt to do whatever resulted in the best outcome.

I sometimes choose to teach someone a lesson by being a jerk when they have it coming to them.

Sometimes I'm pretty sure what people are trying to say and why, but I don't let them off the hook that easy. I'd rather embarrass them or correct them to say "I know more than you do."

But it's cooler when I can be like Mike, Dr. Michael Rhodes.

And let them know what I'm thinking and to try to know what they are thinking, saying and trying to do.

What do you think?

used to think, now realize

I used to think the certain civic clubs in Chimbote, Peru were bad because they gave out alcohol to minors and that was all they did.

I now realize those civic clubs in Chimbote are involved in a large scale tree planting project, is working with a program to turn trash (kind of ironic if you have ever been to Chimbote--there´s lots of trash around) into houses, has developed a micro finance loan program that is changing the lives of hundreds of poor residents, and is interested in partnering with other organizations to bring about a better water system for the region.

I used to think the Catholic Church in Chimbote was really more of a cult than anything and wasn´t to be included in partnership opportunities.

I now realize that the parish of a man named Father Jack is providing access to services for the poorest of the poor in the area. The organization has developed partnerships across cultural and religous ideological divides and has provided an outlet for countless young people and older people to take part in something bigger than themselves.

I used to think the fish factories in Chimbote only operated a few months of the year and were basically sweat shops when they were in operation.

I now realize that the fish factories are run by honest, caring business men and women who genuinely care about their community and the people and the products of their operations. The factories run year round and provide a modest living to those who work at them.

I used to think the water in Chimbote was no good and probably the reason why was that the people there didn´t know how to provide clean drinking water for the residents.

I now realize that there are water treatment plants in Chimbote with caring passionate men and women working at them who care about what they do, and do so in a professional manner and with great integrity. The water they provide is as good as any anywhere.

I used to think that whatever people told me about somebody or some place was probably true, especially if it was about the person or place´s inadequacies.

I now realize that the truth is, if you choose to see inadequacies, that´s about all you`ll see.

I now realize that if you look for capacity: you´ll see hope and opportunities for relationships, you'll experience imagination like you haven´t since kindergarten, and you will start to believe that you can actually make a difference.

I now realize that it's true not only for communities and society, but for you and me as well.

I now realize I have a lot to learn.

Radiant fear

Skye Jethani in his recent teaching at Mars Hill Bible Church credited one of the most important moments of wholeness in race realtions in our country to a sleepless night of Dr. Martin Luther King.

Apparently on January 27, 1956, Dr. King was awake at 2:00 in the morning paralyzed by fear. Someone unhappy with his work on the Montgomery bus boycott had called to let him know that if he didn't back off, his house would be bombed and he and his family killed.

According to Jethani's telling of the story, Dr. King sat paralyzed by fear. He was so threatened by the force against him and his wife and 2 month old daughter, that the fear had turned in on his very core and caused what Thomas Aquinas called a "contraction of the soul."

But somehow without any real reason, Dr. King became uniquely aware of the presence of God and he then embarked on his role in the movement to end discrimination on the basis of race in this country.

He knew in a way that he had never before that he could face anything.

It was about 4 days later when Dr. King, who was attending a rally, received word that his house had indeed been bombed.

After rushing home to find his house on fire, but his family safe, he delivered what some say was the true turning point in the movement.

From the porch of his burning house to the angry mob that had formed to seek vengeance against the bombers, Dr. King said:

"Let your enemies know you love them. What we are doing is right and God is with us. Go home with this glowing faith, with this radiant assurance. With love in our hearts with faith, and with God in front."

The mob dropped their bats and rifles to their sides and went home.

A white policeman who had been dispatched to the scene said:

"We would have been dead were it not for that black preacher."

You are invited this MLK day to consider taking on the pain the hatred and the fear of others and when you soul is locked down by fear, know that God is with you and then do or say or believe something that is counter to all the evidence at hand and change the world.

Target and twenty five thousand dollar dresses

In the January 18 issue of the New Yorker, Amanda Fortini's article on Rodarte, the fashion label of the Dunleavy sisters gives insight into who is interested in knowing what.

The Dunleavys design dresses that sell for ten's of thousands of dollars. According to some, it´s hard to tell if you should wear them or hang them on the wall. Some people don't get it. Some people don´t like it.

"We want to make people think," according to one of the sisters,"and once you decide to do that, you will have people who won't like what you are doing."

They have also recently designed clothes that sell at Target for 80 dollars and under.

When Ms. Fortini asked the vice president of marketing at Target about whether she thought their customers would need to be educated to understand Rodarte, she said "At a thousand dollars, maybe someone doesn't understand Rodarte, but at eighty dollars maybe they will understand it."

"In other words," writes Ms. Fortini, "at eighty dollars a buyer doesn't have to understand Rodarte; she can afford not to."

So you can not really worry about what you are trying to do in ministry, because people don't really care. (They don't have enough invested to need to care).

Or you can stress over the decisions you make about what to do and what not to do and why. Nobody's gonna buy it at the price you are asking.

Or.

You can want to make people think.

Understand that there'll be people who don't like what you are doing and really don't like you.

That's OK.

But then there'll be the true believers willing to pay the cost to be a part of the movement because they understand the value. But it'll only be a few.

That's OK.

And of course there'll be a large number of people who either don't know or don't care.

That's OK.

But props to the Dunleavy sisters.

For us to not know the difference or not to care:

That's not OK.

The other thing

I was thinking through the value of a ministry event with a friend.

"Is this a valuable activity or a distraction?"

"For me it's white noise: total distraction."

"What about for Joe? Could I get Joe interested in this because he is interested in maybe building a network of support for that thing he is trying to do and this might be a way of kinda of doing that, maybe."

pause

"I think you might just be trying to be a [ministry] director."

He called me out. What my friend meant, and he was right, is: you're just trying to get behinds in the seats.

I like it when lots of people come out. Lots of reasons: my ego, it looks like I'm doing something important, etc. I like to think I am doing everything to honor the event organizer and the volunteers who work on it, but...

Sometimes I do get caught up on the event and having, at the very least, an OK event. And I guess that's sometimes counter to actually working on, providing, and engaging in discipleship growth opportunities.

"So it must be hard- what you are doing."

"What?"

"Being a [ministry] director and this other thing that you seemed to be trying to do."

"Wait, wait: what is this other thing?"

What is this other thing? And why does being a [ministry] director seem at cross purposes to it from the standpoint of an objective observer?

I don't know

Karl E. Weick, organizational theorist and author, esteems the words "I don't know" as among the most important in a leader's vocabulary.

Caution: We are all, to some degree in the customer service business and when dealing with a customer "I don't know" must always be followed with: ", but I will find out for you."

So be careful, especially if you are a paid staff member in leadership.

But:

"I don't know" in a leadership context opens up the imagination. It allows you to "drop the heavy tools of rationality... to gain access to lightness in the form of intuitions, feelings, stories, experience, active listening, shared humanity, awareness in the moment, capability for fascination, awe, novel words, and empathy," according to Mr. Weick.

So whether it's about the right way to make coffee, to get butts in the seats, to start a ministry, to get pulpit support, or to report the findings of a church wide study: try "I don't know."

Is Karl Weick right?

You guessed it.

I don't know.

the three hardest words to hear

I don't know.

the three hardest words to say

I don't know.

Red faced and loving it

I've heard of the super bacteria we are growing in our hospitals and schools and homes from our vigilant anti-bacterial efforts. The ease and low cost of administering antibiotics for every ailment no matter how minor is leading to resistant bacteria. Our constant use of hand sanitizers and antibacterial soaps every time we was our hands and take a notion that the swine flu is lurking around the corner has actually weakened our ability to deal with even minor bacteria that we would normally have no trouble with. Or so the story goes.

I wonder if that works with emotions as well. Maybe our reluctance to engage in conversation about different ideas and beliefs has cost us our ability to do so. Have we been so conditioned to not get emotional that we don't "know" how to get emotional? Why am I embarrassed when my face gets red when someone says something in a meeting that I don't agree with?

A friend shared with me that he doesn't see emotion as a bad thing at all. He sees it as a filter or maybe even a canary in a coal mine. When rage comes, what is really at the root of it? When I get mad about something, can I take a step back and say: What was that about? And then work through it.

Too often I might say: I can't get mad. I shouldn't say anything because that just might make it worse. Maybe if I ignore it, it'll go away.

But instead of making things better, healthier, and more whole; I'm thinking it just sets me up for sickness and makes the problem even more resistant to treatment.

I imagine if there were just a few more conversations that I didn't smile politely all the way through: would I actually be healthier in the long run?

Sorry if my face gets red.

3 words for 12 months

I have been inspired by Chris Brogan and Jon Swanson to articulate 3 words as guiding principles for what I select and reject in 2010.

Zoom

Zoom in (focus) would probably be good. Find the one thing to do better than anyone else. Do one thing well instead of lots of things poorly. But not just that. Also zoom out. Can't see the Forrest for the trees (HA!)? Take a or several steps back. Know when to spend lots of time and attention with the most important relationship that makes every other relationship work (me+wife): how many times do I call the work number just to say: hi- I'm thinking of you? How many times will I remember to open the blinds so the light will get in for her plants? And then zoom in and out within the relationships most key to connecting and engaging people in their spiritual journey. With these people: how long will it take to return a phone call or email? How quickly can I set up a meeting with these folks? And then take a look at the community and even the world: in what ways are these relationships making things different for communities seeking to grow? Zoom in and out (quickly).

Imagine

What are the people closest to me dreaming about? What are the dreams that people are dreaming because it's a nice thought and what are the things people want more than anything to become reality? How can I participate in both of those? What dream will become a reality in the next 12 months. What will people realize wasn't so important after all. How many different chords in the zoom in people of truth and beauty can we strike together?

Streamline

The things I'm thinking through with the "men's ministry team leadership team" are the same things I'm thinking through with staff colleagues and local mission and global mission ministry teams. The concept is basically the same. How are we getting people involved in their discipleship growth? How can we do that more faithfully? Logistically: can google handle all of the tasks of connection that need to be handled in one place? Google calendar seems to be working. Should I also turn over management of contacts to Google and what about this google voice thing? Can I post stuff on the website and then from there it will go into bulletin, email blast, brochure and wherever else it needs to go? Can the same graphic be a web banner, a poster, and cctv slide?

I'll share back from time to time on how it's going.

Have a great new year.