Where do you get typewriter ribbons these days?

Holly Golightly, the character in Breakfast at Tiffany's, would have made a good leader in discipleship interested in seeing others grow in their discipleship.

It was apparent in her becoming aware of her friend Paul's passion, skills, and commitment to writing.

TELL ME, ARE YOU A REAL WRITER?

I MEAN, DOES ANYBODY BUY WHAT YOU WRITE

OR PUBLISH IT OR ANYTHING?

It was apparent in her desire to know more about his capacity. She discovered that his typewriter didn't have a ribbon in it.

She was interested in accountability in as much as she quizzed him about his writing schedule and then making it clear to him that he wasn't being honest with himself about it.

THIS IS KIND OF A RATTY QUESTION,

BUT WHAT HAVE YOU WRITTEN LATELY?

She developed a relationship with him first. Then she was able to "leverage" that interest and developing love between them to motivate him to do what he was "supposed" to do.

This is affirming for me, because I fancy myself a bit of a Holly Golightly when it comes to discipleship.

A colleague once expressed concern that I was using my relationships with people to encourage them to do things that they didn't necessarily have an interest in or weren't doing even though they might have been interested in it at one time.

Perhaps I don't spend enough time trying to make sure the writers are serious writers and the mission trippers are serious mission trippers and the golf cart drivers are serious about driving carts. But I guess I do try to see if something might be missing and then try to provide that missing ingredient so they can get on with doing the thing they were meant to be doing.

I have stumbled upon the same thing Holly Golightly did, maybe. The missing ingredient isn't really the typewriter ribbon, or the training, or the expertise, or the theological understanding, or the great idea, or the communication web.

The missing ingredient, lots of times, is people who you care about and who care about you believing in you and saying, in what ever clumsy way they can: you should be doing this.

I'm kind of glad that we don't need typewriter ribbons anymore, or else I would have given up writing already.

But, then again, you would keep sending me ribbons.

Wouldn't you?

How smart are your competitors?

A business entrpreneur was lamenting that his competitors "are idiots." I thought this was a strange thing to lament. I thought if your competitors in business weren't too bright or savvy, that would be a good thing.

But he explained that by introducing costly or unnecessary features in their product lines, they were essentially doing a disservice to the industry standard. Their ignorance wasn't just detrimental to them. It affected everybody "in the game."

In a sort of play on the emperor has no clothes concept, even if the feature or innovation that one company adds isn't a good one, the other companies who provide the same goods and services have to do it or give the appearance that they are being left behind or aren't innovative. It's a kind of industry peer pressure.

Do you suppose there are things we do in mission and ministry that are more reactive to what is happening culturally rather than out of our sense of the call?

Do other organizations shape our vision more than we would acknowledge simply out of our desire to do "what everybody else is doing?"

How do you like my outfit?

There was a flood

There was a flood and some people's dedication to keeping drains clear and gutters clean through year's of drought, during which time it seemed they wouldn't be ever needed again, were spared significant damage, others weren't.

There was a flood and some people anxiously waited: not sure how to get home, not sure if there really was a mudslide on the road to their house, and not sure if the road was open.

There was a flood and some people became afraid that the rain wouldn't stop.

There was a flood and some people looked forward to Thursday because it would be easier to weed their flowerbed.

There was a flood and some people took the chance to use it as a way to poke fun at the inconsiderate rap artist at the award show: "I'ma let you finish raining, atlanta, but new orleans had a real flood a few years ago." And some people enjoyed the opportunity to engage in some p.c. prejudice.

There was a flood and some people, happy for the moment that they didn't have a basement, spent time helping others who had a basement and too much stuff try to keep it dry.

There was a flood and some people almost missed the season premiere of their favorite TV show.

There was a flood and the next day there were professional folks out doing repairs and taking care of business.

There was a flood and some people died.

There was a flood and there was a scene of irony the next day: a water meter reader out doing his job- making sure folks were properly charged for the month's water.

There was a flood and some people will remember it for the rest of their lives.

There was a flood and some people knew about the school that was underwater and how best to help. Others didn't.

There was a flood and there was human kindness.

There was a flood and there was a promise there would never be another one.

There was a flood and some people remembered about the rainbow.

There was a flood and some people wanted to know what the church was doing.

There was a flood and some people were happy some people got what was coming to them.

There was a flood and some people called to say they would be going around to see what they could do.

There was a flood and it seemed like, for all the loss, a fresh start. But then there was already a fresh hamburger wrapper on the newly washed earth the day after the flood was over.

And there was a flood.

Compassion in act shun

Compassion without action, according to a poster I remember seeing promoting a day of outreach, is pity.

And pity isn't all bad, but maybe not the best we can do.

But would you say that compassion even with action can be pity sometimes? Or a result of guilt, maybe: I have lots of stuff, so I need to "give back".

Maybe compassion with action, or just action with or without compassion is a good thing. But maybe we can do better.

According to author Karen Armstrong in an interview on the Speaking of Faith radio program, compassion means "to feel with. Not to feel sorry for, but to say, 'If I were in his position, maybe I would feel the same.'"

So maybe compassion isn't related to action?

Are we willing to actually try to feel with instead of feeling sorry for?

Is that why we "do" missions? To "feel with" others instead of "feel sorry for" them or to "feel good about" ourselves?

During a recent worship service, when the father of a baby who was being baptized was recognized as a serviceman who was bound for a tour in Afghanistan, the congregation begin sporadic clapping and then applause and then standing ovation and then thunderous applause. The young man took this wife's head in his hands and put this forehead to hers and as they both cried, he seemed to say: "I feel what you're feeling, they feel what we're feeling, we feel what they are feeling." It was an act of compassion.

I'm not sure what people did as a result of that. I know the feeling in the sanctuary wasn't pity. And nobody really did anything other than stand and clap. And I don't think people felt guilty about not signing up to go and fight in Afghanistan. But people were feeling with the other.

Is that what living a life of compassion is about?

The bully at work: is it possible to try first to understand why they are such a bully before you see to it that they are called out and disciplined?

The duplicitous member of your small group that says one thing and does another: how do you get to the things that are making her do that? Are some of them the same things that you struggle with?

The person on your ministry team who won't really lead, but won't get out of the way either: how in the world could you ever get a glimpse at the pain and fear that led to this impasse of discipleship?

Feeling sorry for is a good start, but don't stop there.

See what feeling with leads to.

dumb for dummies

How to properly use the word dumb:

1. When not to use the word dumb

a. When in a group discussion don't say that something someone shared about their understanding of a concept or especially when someone shares about an experience they have had is dumb. You may say: I don't understand or help me understand or that hasn't been my experience. Alternatively: don't say anything. Try to get to know the person better.

b. If someone does something that upsets you, don't say that was dumb. You may say: When you..., if made me feel... Studies show only .1% of the time when you tell someone something they did was dumb does the person say, genuinely, you're right--I feel better now.

c. Don't describe someone as deaf and dumb. Especially if they can hear and talk. For best results, if you have to characterize someone by their lack of capability: deaf mute.

d. Don't say someone is dumb. Perhaps slow witted. Perhaps intelligence isn't their strong suit. Don't resort to: dumb is curable: stupid is forever or similar saying.

e. When in a sad play for humor: __________ for dummies.

2. When to use the word dumb.

a. If you feel like you are being recognized as an expert on something and you want to self efface, you might say. I'm dumb about...can you help me? Try also: I don't understand this, perhaps you do...can you help me?

b. When you want to crush someone or conversation.

c. When you are overpowered by cynicism and p.c. ism. And then use only in the presence of people (or better yet, a person) who understand you to be broken and in need of venting. And who won't repeat or use your venting against you.

d. When someone so surprises you by an act of kindness or grace you say: I was dumbfounded by your kindness and grace when you _______________.

Do you think I'm dumb?

I bet you

A friend worked an analogy about gambling and career success for a good while recently. Negative connotations about gambling aside, it involved picking "the right game"- the one that suits your passion and interest. It also came down to how you place your bets and ultimately if the stakes are appropriate and if you can say after the game: "I enjoyed that", or "I lost some money, but it was worth it."

I also just read a review of a business book in which the reviewer shared that he has "placed bets on the author" and encouraged others to "gamble" on him and his book as well.

So: a couple of things I bet you.

I bet your presence will make things right that your knowledge and expertise won't.

I bet leadership is more important than getting your way and getting others to submit to your way.

I bet if you believe the story of the organization, you'll serve the organization in a spirit of unity and others will be inspired.

I bet if you try to make others unified and inspired because the organization says they should be, you'll be frustrated.

I bet you'll never understand the world until you understand yourself and those closest to you.

I bet if discipleship is the main thing, everything else will fall into place.

I bet if you forget trying to figure out the "unsearchable" part of God's nature, you'll come to intimacy with the grace of God.

I bet the answer lies within you; or else it's the wrong question.

I bet the house doesn't always win.