Do LIDS RSVP?

According to About.com, hosts increasingly do not receive firm indications whether guests plan to attend their parties, even if RSVP is clearly  printed on the invitation.

Two thoughts:

1.  There is a growing trend toward rudeness in our society.

2.  People don't understand what RSVP means.

Assuming No. 1 can't be true, on to No. 2:

So the literal translation is: "repondez s'il vous plait" meaning "please respond".  If RSVP is written on an invitation, it means the invited guest must tell the host whether or not they plan to attend the party.  A host would indicate RSVP if a head count is needed by the specified date.

An incomplete list of respondents can cause numerous problems for a host including difficulty in food quantities, issues relating to minimum guarantees with catering halls, uncertainty over party favors and difficulties in planning appropriate seating among other things.

Third thought:

3.  There is a leadership issue in play here.  A lot of people may react when invited to an event.  Example: "I don't want to come to this thing anyway.  I'll show them- I'm not going to RSVP."  Leaders, however, respond.  In his book Tribes, Seth Godin writes that the easiest thing to do is react.  The second easiest thing to do is respond.  The hardest thing to do is to initiate.  "Reacting is intuitive and instinctive and usually dangerous.  Responding is a much better alternative.  You respond to external stimuli with thoughtful consideration.  But both pale in comparison to initiative.  Leaders see something others are ignoring and they jump on it.  They cause the events that others have to react [or respond] to.  They make change."

As a LID: initiate.  And, as a leader, when others step out in leadership by initiating and event and ask for a response: respond.

Making Connections

The reason you do something is often as important as what you do when you get serious about making connections.  A connection starts with communication.  

How do the people you are trying to connect to and with each other communicate?  E-mail, instant e-mail, text, cell phone, facebook, newsletter, blog, face-to-face?

Do you encourage a group to communicate differently so everyone communicates in common or do you vary your communication to suite the members of your group?

Once you determine who communicates how, what are the other aspects of connection?  If you start using the most mundane meetings that you already go attend to connect, it might make them less mundane.  What are the components of a connection?  You learn something about another person.  You gain understanding of how a person thinks about something.  You share a past experience.  You experience something together.  You develop a common consciousness about an issue or idea.  You share an idea.  You share a "joy".

John Maxwell in the 360 Degree leader shares 5 levels of connection.  1.  People have to connect with you in some way because of your position.  2.  People connect with you because they want to.  3.  People connect with you because of what you have done for the organization.  4.  People connect with you because of what you have done for them.  5.  People connect with you because of who you are and what you represent.

While you may never become "friends" with the people you are connected to are that you are responsible for leading, you should consider how and why they are connecting with you.  If it is only because they have to, you might want to find more, better ways to connect.  Try stepping up a level.

1) Who are you leading?

1) Who are you leading?

If the answer to question 2 is "yes", but the answer to question 1 is "don't know" then the answer to question 2 is actually "no".  The movie Gung Ho has a number of scenes about leadership in it.  The movie is about an American town affected by a Japanese car company buying a auto manufacturing plant that employs a number of the townsfolk.  Problems arise when the Japanese expect the American workers to implement Japanese ways of production in the plant.  In one scene, the Japanese executive explains the difference between the Japanese and American perspective when something goes wrong.  Americans try to find someone to blame.  Japanese try to find a way to solve the problem.  So what is the problem?  If I discover that I am not leading, that is a problem.  What do I do?  Well first of all, who is to blame?  According to Seth Godin in his compelling new book Tribes, I am.  "If you hear an idea but don't believe it, that's not your fault; it's mine.  If you see my new product but don't buy it, it's my failure, not yours.  If you attend my presentation and you're bored, that's my fault too."  Don't learn and I'm teaching: my bad.  Don't buy into the concept I'm offering: I screwed it up.  I'm blogging and no one is reading.  That's my fault.  Looking for a solution? I start leading.  

Identify your group and figure out ways to connect with them and them to each other.  I'll do the same.

3)Become a leader with urgency.  Lean in or back off, but urgency says: err on the side of leaning in.

4)As always, don't be a jerk.