people show their strength in a variety of ways.
some might never fail to show up for a meeting you call 2 minutes late. every time. two minutes. late.
some might not respond to an email asking for input. until you call them and then ask them in person. it's not that they don't have time or overlook it. it's just how they show their strength.
some people don't offer any discussion during discussion time.
and some don't reply to you when you give a answer.
they just let it hover above the group.
they seem strong.
other people make sure that people are empowered to take the limelight and lead the group or the effort with their full and visible support.
some people show their strength by giving it away.
or at least sharing it for a while.
2 comments:
So I’ve been thinking about this post for a few days, wondering about myself. (Yes, there’s that whole narcissistic syndrome going on, it’s all about me.)
Long ago I used in a sermon some thoughts about using brakes when driving on the expressway. When teaching me to drive, my dad said that whenever you use the brakes on the expressway, someone made a mistake. Usually it’s because I’m following someone too closely, although the problem is sometimes the person in front of me. But it’s part of my driving DNA to ask who made a mistake whenever I tap the brakes, and that’s good, it helps me become a better driver. And it's also fun to try to not use brakes.
It seemed that my being late, or even the condition of rushing to get somewhere on time, should be a tap on the brakes, an opportunity to ask the question, "who made a mistake"?
There are times when it’s the person ahead of me, but mostly it’s following too closely to the car in front of me (i.e., the disrespect I show others by overscheduling).
I know that being present, really present, nothing else on my mind but the person I am with, is a way of showing love to that person. It seems that being late or in a hurry to leave meant that I was not showing love—the tap on the brakes that would encourage me to analyze my attitude toward the person with whom I’m meeting.
So I’m thankful for your reminder that being late/not being fully present is also a misuse of power. I wonder how I lost this habit of asking myself, when I was late or in a hurry, about the underlying cause.
(And since growing into the image of an egalitarian loving trinity is supposed to be at the heart of Wesleyan theology, I love your addressing the power dynamics of our gatherings.)
My dad drove using two feet. One or the other was always on the brake or the gas. (My dad has always been on the anxious side.)
I never considered our journey together calling for proper allotment of space to allow our pace to change with respect to each othe without anyone getting rear ended.
I don't always count one thousand one one thousand two after passing a land mark after the "car" in front of me has passed it to make sure I have left adequate spacing.
Maybe the other drivers out there would appreciate it if I did more often.
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