Be extraordinary and the extraordinary will happen

When a group of people get together to do something, there often seems to be a period of time where the individuals are doing what they want to do without too much regard for whether or not what they are doing, saying, or thinking is best for the group.

The result is that people often get their feelings hurt, and people become worn down, snap at one another, exclude people and become themselves disconnected.

Usually it seems, something extraordinary happens collectively to the group or individuals simply get to know and understand each other better and a few members of the group start to put what is best for the group over what they feel is best for them and then magic happens.

I've heard in combat situations when soldiers become close and committed to one another that to be wounded or even killed is preferred to causing a buddy to be wounded or killed.

That moment makes the whole thing worthwhile. It seems elusive and happens organically and often unexpectedly.

So we plan for it. Work toward it. And hope it happens.

Oddly, it seems you don't even know it happened until it's over.

Sometimes the hardest position to fill is the first person to put the needs of the group ahead of her own.

There is no guarantee that it'll be contagious, but usually if you can find or be that person, you will have found the extraordinary thing to happen to your group.