Be confrontational

In some cultures, saying

I'm just not confrontational

means

I'm just not willing to show how much I care.

In these cultures, showing how much you care can't happen unless you are willing to and be aware of when to and not be afraid to be present after confronting someone (including yourself).

It's not a badge of honor or an acceptable excuse for abdicating leadership.

Your willingness to be confrontational in the ministry culture might be the difference between a dissenting voice (a healthy difference of opinion that will make the final result better) and a toxic person (who sees those they are "serving" in leadership as ungrateful obstacles to overcome and their ministry as "to do" items to check off a list).

Dissenters who aren't recognized and appreciated with:

I know how you feel, I used to feel the exact same way, but let me tell you what I have found...

or a little bit of:

I know you don't realize this, but when you raise your voice or cut me off, or say I'm wrong,

it makes me feel like you don't value my work or appreciate our contribution, or understand the constraints I work under...

become toxic.

And then you're spending all your time:

in guerilla warfare management, bully battles, and trips to the head of the organization's office because she's:

hearing stuff.

So if the word has negative conotations for us, let's pick our favorite synonym and be

compelling or willing to face

so that we can

• face up to and deal with (a problem or difficult situation) :

we knew we couldn't ignore the race issue and decided we'd confront it head on.

What? You gotta problem with that?