Find yourself in a conversation about religion this Thanksgiving? Employ the On Being Strategy

Against our better judgment we often slip into conversations about religion with our family and loved ones during Thanksgiving and other family gatherings.

This mine field may be more successfully negotiated with a minimum of slammed doors, early departures, and gut wrenching apologies by considering some advice from one of the best in the business in facilitating conversations about religion.

Krista Tippett is the host of a radio program on Being.  The program was formerly known as Speaking of Faith.

In a recent Wall Street Journal article, Ms. Tippett describes a couple of pointers she has found to keep the dialog edifying.

"On my radio show, which covers issues of faith and moral imagination, I encourage my guests to follow a couple of ground rules: No abstractions about God, and speak in the first person, not on behalf of your group or tradition (or God). This makes statements of belief much more hospitable, easier to hear. A listener might disagree with your opinion on ultimate questions but can't disagree with your experience of them. There is a profound difference between hearing someone say "this is the truth" and hearing her say "this is my truth."

Ms. Tippett brings me each and every week to at least on epiphany of "Wow, I never thought of it that way," with this mode of idea exchange.

So much of what I find frustrating about what people with other religious, political, or any type of view, really isn't so much their...wrongness.  What is frustrating is my inability to find out more about what they are saying about their beliefs and how they arrived at that point.

One question I hope to ask at least once this Thanksgiving during the small talk of family interactions is one that Ms. Tippett often asks to bring the talk on her program back to the center of discussion: "What do you mean when you say that?"

I believe this approach will cut down on how much (misguidedly) I project on what I hear people saying about their ideas of how "God works" while allowing me to better understand what they are actually trying to say.

Whether or not it's grounded in fact or not: that's the whole point of what I have always understood Thanksgiving to be about.

People understanding other people's ideas.

No matter how different they may appear.