"...once we stopped at Chick-fil-a..."

I was on a long road trip with a fairly large group of people recently while simultaneously reading James Redfield's Celestine Prophecy, which is a fictional account of an ancient manuscript which gives insights into a coming transformation of society through understanding how things "really work."  The book makes the point that we  often gain energy from other people getting them to go along with our way.  If I have something I want and you have something you want and I get what I want, I gain energy.  And maybe you lose energy.

I was watching this fictional insight being played out as our group worked to decide on where and when to stop for lunch.  It had to be Chick-fil-a and it had to be now.  Whether Chick-fil-a now was best for the group as a whole or not didn't matter as much as Chick-fil-a now for the group that wanted Chick-fil-a now.  And I kind of think the Chick-fil-a  and that we would have it now didn't matter as much as having everybody have Chick-fil-a now.

So we gave up eating with the rest of our group together later.  

The food was good- we had been several days in an area that didn't have Chick-fi-a's.  But the energy gained by the group that wanted Chick-fil-a was out of proportion to the goodness of the food.

The Chick-fil-a now group getting their way gave them energy over and above the ambient value of the food.  It basically changed the whole dynamic of the trip for some.  Days later people where talking about how the stop at Chick-fil-a rescued the whole trip.

It's possible that getting our way and the energy it brings causes us to make decisions and do things that aren't in the best interest of the group.

I recall a mission trip several years ago where the team wasn't able to have the impact they had hoped to have on the area where they were working.  Finally somebody was able to get together some commodes and get a couple of them installed.  (People in the area use "turkish toilets" and not commodes there).  "If it hadn't of been for those commodes..." I remember someone recanting about the trip.

(The next year when the team visited, they noticed a number of the commodes still in crates and not used- people there use turkish toilets, not commodes)

So you wonder if it was the commodes gave the team energy or the fact that the people of that region came around to our idea of how to use the bathroom that saved that trip.

Anyway.  It's futile to not recognize that getting our way gives us energy.  How do we use that for good purposes?  As a catalyst for the community becoming the community God would have it be?

Is the way we evangelize or share ideas or tell stories or provide leadership motivated by something other than the best interest of the group in fulfilling God's mission?

Can you in some sort of judo leadership move allow others to gain energy by letting them get their way.  Or does this lead to enabling?  Or is it scheming?  Manipulation?