4) As always, don't be a Jerk

(In reverse order)

1) Who are you leading?

2)Are you leading?

3)Become a leader with urgency.  Lean in or back off, but urgency says: err on the side of leaning in.

4)As always, don't be a jerk.

Let's just say for the sake of discussion that there are no difficult people, only people who have survived difficult situations (and are responding poorly).  Let's also just say they are leading you (or supposed to be) or they are on your leadership team with you (or supposed to be) or they are in the group you are leading (or supposed to be).  Let's even say you may be one of them.  Don't panic.  Admitting that you are a survivor of difficult situations and you are responding poorly is the first step to recovery!   Maybe being a invalidator or a taker awayer is your form of control.  Maybe you feel like you can't really do anything because the invalidators and the taker awayers seem to have more power than you do, so what can you do?   You can lead.  Identify your cause.  Start getting people who care about that cause connected.  To you and to one another.  Don't let the survivors of difficult situations who are responding poorly dictate who you are and how, or even if, you will lead.  Dwight Cooper, the CEO of PPR, a nurse staffing company, developed this strategy to avoid being a jerk:  "Employees are not allowed to mindlessly complain to their co-workers.  If they have a complaint, they can take it to a manager or someone who can do something about the problem, BUT they must also offer one or two possible solutions."  This allows a culture of leadership to emerge and eliminate energy vampires, jerks, invalidators, take awayers, survivors of difficult situations who are responding poorly.  As a LID, lean into positive energy.

Click here For A Positive Business Manifesto by Jon Gordon  the ideas expressed here also work for ministry and Leading in Discipleship.