Target and twenty five thousand dollar dresses

In the January 18 issue of the New Yorker, Amanda Fortini's article on Rodarte, the fashion label of the Dunleavy sisters gives insight into who is interested in knowing what.

The Dunleavys design dresses that sell for ten's of thousands of dollars. According to some, it´s hard to tell if you should wear them or hang them on the wall. Some people don't get it. Some people don´t like it.

"We want to make people think," according to one of the sisters,"and once you decide to do that, you will have people who won't like what you are doing."

They have also recently designed clothes that sell at Target for 80 dollars and under.

When Ms. Fortini asked the vice president of marketing at Target about whether she thought their customers would need to be educated to understand Rodarte, she said "At a thousand dollars, maybe someone doesn't understand Rodarte, but at eighty dollars maybe they will understand it."

"In other words," writes Ms. Fortini, "at eighty dollars a buyer doesn't have to understand Rodarte; she can afford not to."

So you can not really worry about what you are trying to do in ministry, because people don't really care. (They don't have enough invested to need to care).

Or you can stress over the decisions you make about what to do and what not to do and why. Nobody's gonna buy it at the price you are asking.

Or.

You can want to make people think.

Understand that there'll be people who don't like what you are doing and really don't like you.

That's OK.

But then there'll be the true believers willing to pay the cost to be a part of the movement because they understand the value. But it'll only be a few.

That's OK.

And of course there'll be a large number of people who either don't know or don't care.

That's OK.

But props to the Dunleavy sisters.

For us to not know the difference or not to care:

That's not OK.

The other thing

I was thinking through the value of a ministry event with a friend.

"Is this a valuable activity or a distraction?"

"For me it's white noise: total distraction."

"What about for Joe? Could I get Joe interested in this because he is interested in maybe building a network of support for that thing he is trying to do and this might be a way of kinda of doing that, maybe."

pause

"I think you might just be trying to be a [ministry] director."

He called me out. What my friend meant, and he was right, is: you're just trying to get behinds in the seats.

I like it when lots of people come out. Lots of reasons: my ego, it looks like I'm doing something important, etc. I like to think I am doing everything to honor the event organizer and the volunteers who work on it, but...

Sometimes I do get caught up on the event and having, at the very least, an OK event. And I guess that's sometimes counter to actually working on, providing, and engaging in discipleship growth opportunities.

"So it must be hard- what you are doing."

"What?"

"Being a [ministry] director and this other thing that you seemed to be trying to do."

"Wait, wait: what is this other thing?"

What is this other thing? And why does being a [ministry] director seem at cross purposes to it from the standpoint of an objective observer?

I don't know

Karl E. Weick, organizational theorist and author, esteems the words "I don't know" as among the most important in a leader's vocabulary.

Caution: We are all, to some degree in the customer service business and when dealing with a customer "I don't know" must always be followed with: ", but I will find out for you."

So be careful, especially if you are a paid staff member in leadership.

But:

"I don't know" in a leadership context opens up the imagination. It allows you to "drop the heavy tools of rationality... to gain access to lightness in the form of intuitions, feelings, stories, experience, active listening, shared humanity, awareness in the moment, capability for fascination, awe, novel words, and empathy," according to Mr. Weick.

So whether it's about the right way to make coffee, to get butts in the seats, to start a ministry, to get pulpit support, or to report the findings of a church wide study: try "I don't know."

Is Karl Weick right?

You guessed it.

I don't know.

the three hardest words to hear

I don't know.

the three hardest words to say

I don't know.

Red faced and loving it

I've heard of the super bacteria we are growing in our hospitals and schools and homes from our vigilant anti-bacterial efforts. The ease and low cost of administering antibiotics for every ailment no matter how minor is leading to resistant bacteria. Our constant use of hand sanitizers and antibacterial soaps every time we was our hands and take a notion that the swine flu is lurking around the corner has actually weakened our ability to deal with even minor bacteria that we would normally have no trouble with. Or so the story goes.

I wonder if that works with emotions as well. Maybe our reluctance to engage in conversation about different ideas and beliefs has cost us our ability to do so. Have we been so conditioned to not get emotional that we don't "know" how to get emotional? Why am I embarrassed when my face gets red when someone says something in a meeting that I don't agree with?

A friend shared with me that he doesn't see emotion as a bad thing at all. He sees it as a filter or maybe even a canary in a coal mine. When rage comes, what is really at the root of it? When I get mad about something, can I take a step back and say: What was that about? And then work through it.

Too often I might say: I can't get mad. I shouldn't say anything because that just might make it worse. Maybe if I ignore it, it'll go away.

But instead of making things better, healthier, and more whole; I'm thinking it just sets me up for sickness and makes the problem even more resistant to treatment.

I imagine if there were just a few more conversations that I didn't smile politely all the way through: would I actually be healthier in the long run?

Sorry if my face gets red.

3 words for 12 months

I have been inspired by Chris Brogan and Jon Swanson to articulate 3 words as guiding principles for what I select and reject in 2010.

Zoom

Zoom in (focus) would probably be good. Find the one thing to do better than anyone else. Do one thing well instead of lots of things poorly. But not just that. Also zoom out. Can't see the Forrest for the trees (HA!)? Take a or several steps back. Know when to spend lots of time and attention with the most important relationship that makes every other relationship work (me+wife): how many times do I call the work number just to say: hi- I'm thinking of you? How many times will I remember to open the blinds so the light will get in for her plants? And then zoom in and out within the relationships most key to connecting and engaging people in their spiritual journey. With these people: how long will it take to return a phone call or email? How quickly can I set up a meeting with these folks? And then take a look at the community and even the world: in what ways are these relationships making things different for communities seeking to grow? Zoom in and out (quickly).

Imagine

What are the people closest to me dreaming about? What are the dreams that people are dreaming because it's a nice thought and what are the things people want more than anything to become reality? How can I participate in both of those? What dream will become a reality in the next 12 months. What will people realize wasn't so important after all. How many different chords in the zoom in people of truth and beauty can we strike together?

Streamline

The things I'm thinking through with the "men's ministry team leadership team" are the same things I'm thinking through with staff colleagues and local mission and global mission ministry teams. The concept is basically the same. How are we getting people involved in their discipleship growth? How can we do that more faithfully? Logistically: can google handle all of the tasks of connection that need to be handled in one place? Google calendar seems to be working. Should I also turn over management of contacts to Google and what about this google voice thing? Can I post stuff on the website and then from there it will go into bulletin, email blast, brochure and wherever else it needs to go? Can the same graphic be a web banner, a poster, and cctv slide?

I'll share back from time to time on how it's going.

Have a great new year.