to be needed

I was recently at a meeting of area church mission leaders and discussing with a colleague the community we have been engaged with in living out who we are created to be collectively when he asked me: "Well... what is their greatest need?"  I don't remember what I replied-it probably had to do with education, mentoring, employment opportunities or training or something.  Drug rehab programs, maybe.  Or a domestic violence prevention seminar.  A program for the youth; to keep them out of trouble.

After the meeting I realized the answer to the question was simply: to be needed.  Our greatest need is to be needed.

I felt pretty good about that belated and unused response.

But today at an area "soup kitchen" where we often serve meals, we spoke briefly with the manager about the possibility of having the "guests" help us prepare and serve the meal on  occasion.  "Oh no, he said.  Whenever we do that, they get an attitude.  They think that they are better than the others and that we then owe them something.  That doesn't work- it causes problems."

I wonder where they got that idea.

Well isn't the whole point to change their attitude?  In one direction or the other as Norman Mailer said.  To let them know that they are needed?

Why is the change in attitude perceived as negative?  That they come out feeling better or superior to the others?

What would have ever made them think that way?