how a mission trip is like a team building game

In team building games a group of people who don't know each other very well work together to figure out "the secret" and succeed in the challenge.

It's frustrating at times.

The solution to the "problem" lies inside the problem- not outside the problem.

The group has to determine what the rules of engagement are and what is going to work for it and its unique mission.

Some people give up and don't "play".

Some people are encouragers and lead the group to try its best.

Some people can put themselves second to the mission of the group. Some people can't.

When it works and you figure it out, evenly briefly, it's awesome.

i came looking for you

We are on a 30+ hour journey of community development to Sells Arizona. We are a little less than half way there. I'm starting to get nervous because people have asked me a couple times: tell me again what are we doing again when we get there (we aren't sure, exactly, what we are going to do when we get there). I got some insight last night into what we are doing. I decided to find a secluded room of the church we are staying in for the night to bed down (the womens decoration storage room). Most everybody was asleep or going to sleep upstairs in kinda of noisy bright rooms. As I was about to drift off, I started to worry that I should tell somebody where I was so in case I overslept this morning they would know to get me and where to find me. A then I heard a quiet voice: " forrest...that you?". "Yes, it's me." "OK. You scared in there by yourself?"."No, I'm not scared." "OK, well I came looking for you" "Oh, OK... well goodnight.". "Goodnight"
The interaction helped me understand what we are doing on this trip and what we do on most any trip.
We came looking for you.
And by you, I mean me.

Lessons learned from a lady who lost her dog

As I was jogging the other day in the neighbor, a lady pulled over and asked me if I had seen a white and black dog.  "I'm asking you because joggers pretty much know what's going on," she said.  I shared with her that I hadn't seen the dog.  "Well," she said, "if you see him, please give me a call."  She then handed me a business card.

I didn't see her dog or have a chance to help her, but I learned a couple things about engaging people.

1.  Appreciate them.  Understand what they are doing and why that has value.

2.  Share with them exactly what you are trying to do.  Make it compelling.

3.  Make it easy for them to respond.

The interesting thing is: even though I didn't help her in finding her dog, the next day I saw a credit card lying on the sidewalk.  With my newfound position as jogger, who "knows what's going on," I knew the community was counting on me to act.  I was able to track down the card's owner through our neighborhood directory and returned the card to it's rightful owner who didn't even know she'd lost it.  So one bonus thing I learned:

4.  Empower those who you seek to engage to make a difference in the world whether or not it furthers your own goals.

And if you see a black and white dog who answers to Duke, let me know.

Capacity

President Obama, in a talking about problems and capacities of Africa talks about how the challenges will best be met.  You can read about it here.  He seems to be saying that the solution to the problem is inside the problem.  

"...noting that development depends on good governance.  He said this is the ingredient which has been missing in far too many places, for far too long.

U.S. President Barack Obama smiles alongside Ghana's President John Atta Mills upon Obama's arrival in Accra, Ghana, July 10, 2009. (Xinhua/Reuters Photo)

    "This is the change that can unlock Africa's potential. And that is a responsibility that can only be met by Africans," Obama called for good governance by Africa leaders.

    On opportunity, Obama said deployment provides opportunity for more people.

    "With better governance, I have no doubt that Africa hold the promise of a broader case for prosperity. The continent is rich in natural resources. And from cell phone entrepreneurs to small farmers, Africans have shown the capacity and commitment to creating their own opportunities."

Big problems.  Big solutions.  But the solutions come from inside the problem.  Not outside. 

In your ministry, mission, journey, or relationship: got problems?

Where do you expect the solutions to come from?

to be needed

I was recently at a meeting of area church mission leaders and discussing with a colleague the community we have been engaged with in living out who we are created to be collectively when he asked me: "Well... what is their greatest need?"  I don't remember what I replied-it probably had to do with education, mentoring, employment opportunities or training or something.  Drug rehab programs, maybe.  Or a domestic violence prevention seminar.  A program for the youth; to keep them out of trouble.

After the meeting I realized the answer to the question was simply: to be needed.  Our greatest need is to be needed.

I felt pretty good about that belated and unused response.

But today at an area "soup kitchen" where we often serve meals, we spoke briefly with the manager about the possibility of having the "guests" help us prepare and serve the meal on  occasion.  "Oh no, he said.  Whenever we do that, they get an attitude.  They think that they are better than the others and that we then owe them something.  That doesn't work- it causes problems."

I wonder where they got that idea.

Well isn't the whole point to change their attitude?  In one direction or the other as Norman Mailer said.  To let them know that they are needed?

Why is the change in attitude perceived as negative?  That they come out feeling better or superior to the others?

What would have ever made them think that way?

pursurers and distancers

I have kind of joked with a few friends that this week I am going to find out how enlightened I am in as much as I am helping my sibs relocate my folks from florida to macon, ga to be closer to family. The joke is based on the fact that I have been trying to learn to be present, conscious, and aware--to live more of an examined life in the way of Jesus. To become enlightened. And the fact that a wise voice in this arena, Ram
Dass, is quoted "if you think you are enlightened, spend a week with your parents." I have learned that I am not very enlightened.

I have been visited today by my parents' neighbors-- a couple of them who have shared how much my parents have meant to them. It was strangely as nice to hear as when someone tells you what wonderful kids you have.

One of them in particular shared how much my parents love and devotion have inspired him. He is a full time caretaker of his wife who suffers from alheimer's and he seemed to have extra appreciation for my parents relationship because his wife in many ways has left him alone.

Although, the reason we are having to help my folks relocate is because my mother suffers from increasingly acute dementia.

It got me to thinking about what a therapist friend of mine describes as the pursurers and distancers of our relationships. Most of us take on both roles at one time or another throughout the course of our intimate relationships.

I bet at first my dad really pursued my mom. I've heard of stories of his courtship of her from brunswick to willacoochee ga. I'm sure as a well raised southern girl moma properly distanced and played hard to get.

I got a sense as I was growing up of him distancing. He was always first up from the dinner table and moma always tried to pursue with efforts at small talk on long car rides that he didn't often respond to.

But now it is my mom's dementia that is causing her to distance. And my dad? He has chosen to pursue her with a love, and grace, and patience, and kindness; the likes of which I have never seen from any man.

So I suppose I have found myself to be rather unenlightened, but learning more about it through the time spent with my parents.

I'm thankful for those who pursue through home made cards and notes scribbled on the inside of books given to me and KC+FC written on a steamed up bathroom mirror. Even during my best efforts at distancing.

And I pray for the faith of my father and for the love, grace patience, and kindness to pursue those who forget who they are in their distancing. For whatever reason.

Enlightenment?

What's in the Ark?

I got at an email one time asking me what was in the Ark of the Covenant.  The thing that the Israelites carried around with them.  That was the presence of God.  I knew from Indiana Jones that there was dust in there.  Of the Ten Commandment Tablets.  And that you shouldn't mess with it.   Unless you wanted to get your face melted off.  But according to this email, there was something else in there.  The budded staff of Aaron.  You got me.  

According to Rabbi Harold Kushner in his book, Overcoming Life's Disappointments, there is, or was, something else in there: the remains of the first set of tablets.  The ones that God alone wrote.  The ones that slipped through Moses' hands upon his coming down from the mountain and finding the people of God worshipping the golden calf.  The ones that were replaced with tablets of a joint human-divine effort.  What?  Why would that be (I don't think there is scriptural basis for such nonsense).  We want to make sure no one knows of our broken dreams and ideas about what God wants, right?

Why in the world would we carry them around with us?  According to Rabbi Kushner, it's to remind us that it's OK to set high standards for our theology, for our idea of "good enough", and right thinking, but that we must be prepared to fall short of these high standards that we were quite sure were from God.

According to Estelle Frankel, a therapist who combines Jewish mystic wisdom with modern therapy:

" The first tablets, like the initial visions we have for our lives, frequently shatter, especially when they are based on naively idealistic assumptions..."

How in the world do we carry around with us the great celebration of God's commands and our failed understanding of it?

Probably best with one another and the failed ideals we share.  In the same vessel with our greatest accomplishments.  Maybe they both represent what we understand as God's presence?