1. When not to use the word dumb
a. When in a group discussion don't say that something someone shared about their understanding of a concept or especially when someone shares about an experience they have had is dumb. You may say: I don't understand or help me understand or that hasn't been my experience. Alternatively: don't say anything. Try to get to know the person better.
b. If someone does something that upsets you, don't say that was dumb. You may say: When you..., if made me feel... Studies show only .1% of the time when you tell someone something they did was dumb does the person say, genuinely, you're right--I feel better now.
c. Don't describe someone as deaf and dumb. Especially if they can hear and talk. For best results, if you have to characterize someone by their lack of capability: deaf mute.
d. Don't say someone is dumb. Perhaps slow witted. Perhaps intelligence isn't their strong suit. Don't resort to: dumb is curable: stupid is forever or similar saying.
e. When in a sad play for humor: __________ for dummies.
2. When to use the word dumb.
a. If you feel like you are being recognized as an expert on something and you want to self efface, you might say. I'm dumb about...can you help me? Try also: I don't understand this, perhaps you do...can you help me?
b. When you want to crush someone or conversation.
c. When you are overpowered by cynicism and p.c. ism. And then use only in the presence of people (or better yet, a person) who understand you to be broken and in need of venting. And who won't repeat or use your venting against you.
d. When someone so surprises you by an act of kindness or grace you say: I was dumbfounded by your kindness and grace when you _______________.
Do you think I'm dumb?
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